Online Dating Apps Don’t Work For Most of Us. Here’s Why.
Is finding the right match harder for men?
Women sometimes have the advantage. While for men, there's a lot to learn about how to get better at online dating
You’ll never forget the feeling of downloading your first dating app. Do you remember how pumped you were? With more people meeting online than through family and friends, you were excited to swipe right to romance. However, after a few flings and one too many flaky first dates, you learned the truth about online dating. Dating apps can be entertaining, but it can also be a lot of time-consuming work!
The gender bias on dating apps
The reality is online dating isn’t easy for anyone. After all, no matter who you are, online dating requires vulnerability, time, and consistency. But is online dating harder for men? Chances are, you already know the answer. Online dating is, in fact, trickier for guys. Overall, women have an advantage across most major dating apps, according to multiple different studies.
Some researchers speculate men tend to dominate the online dating market because women are generally more hesitant to join apps. Equally important, most women think twice about their safety when meeting new people from the internet.
All things considered, Shift Dating experts want you to know there’s more to this subject than meets the eye. Here’s what you need to keep in mind when it comes to gender bias in online dating.
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Online dating can be frustrating and time consuming, with limited if any results. Or maybe you just don’t know where to start.
Men aren’t getting the results they want from online dating
First things first, the good news is a majority of online daters report an overall positive experience, according to 2019 Pew Research. The report found it was easy for people to find others who were physically attractive and shared common interests. On the other hand, 45% of online daters also said it left them feeling more frustrated than hopeful.
In February, Now Toronto writer Natalia Manzocco reported about how Torontonians were feeling burned out on online dating. In the article, 36-year-old John Chidley-Hill shared about his experience rejoining the dating app Hinge. Since returning to online dating, he developed a “depressing” habit of checking the app before falling asleep. It was a ritual that he wasn’t enjoying.
“I didn’t need a reminder of a) the fact that I’m single, and b) I hadn’t connected with anyone that day. It’s not a great way to end a day,” he said.
John isn’t alone. 57% of men who are online dating report not receiving “enough” messages from people they like. Meanwhile, 24% of women dating online said they feel the same way.
Our Expert Advice: Unplug and take time off from online dating when you need it. Better yet, know when to ask for help when you need it. The Shift Dating Concierge has helped many singles who found themselves frustrated with online dating ruts.
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Dating apps might be harder for hotter men
One example of this was the viral social media experiment, Tinder: Men Vs. Women. The test was simple. Two profiles, “Brian” and “Briana,” were created using real photos from two people who could be models. Brian and Briana just had a palm tree emoji in their summary and used identical discover settings. Both accounts made 1,000 right swipes each.
70% of men matched with Briana, and 54% of her matches sent her a message. In comparison, 27% of women matched with Brian, and only 10% sent him a message.
Likewise, a 2018 study by the University of Oxford and eHarmony discovered comparable results. Men who consider themselves a 10/10 receive fewer messages than people who think they’re an average 5/10. This means that a match’s looks aren’t as an important factor for women.
Our expert advice: physical attraction is essential, but it isn’t everything. Look for more matches based on shared interests.
Online dating might be harder for men of colour
It’s impossible to ignore the racial bias in online dating. User data from OkCupid showed most men rated black women as less attractive than women of other races. More recently, Cornell University found both black men and women are ten times more likely to message white people.
Similarly, the report also found men who date online tend to view multiculturalism less favorably. Cornell researchers believe letting users search and filter potential matches by race allows people to be more discriminatory.
When you’re looking for love online, it’s easy to swipe left after just a few seconds on a person’s profile. This, of course, is different than dating in real life. After all, a cutie’s ethnicity is less likely to be an issue if you met them at a friend’s party.
Online dating in Canada means that you’re more likely to date people from various ethnicities and backgrounds. That’s the beauty of living in a multicultural country! This is especially true if you’re on the online dating scene in major Canadain cities like Vancouver, Toronto, and Montreal. Online dating is more challenging if you’re one of the 15% of Canadians who won’t marry outside their race. The fact is, your dating pool decreases if you’re not open to dating diversely. Don’t limit your options based on a bad photo or a person’s height or weight.
Our expert advice: never say never. Swipe right if you feel sparks. If the chemistry is right, a virtual date never hurts anyone.
Keeping an open mind in your love life
Madelyn Chung wrote in Flare.com about her experience of being vehemently against dating Asian guys, even though she’s Chinese. At the time the article was published, Chung had a Filipino boyfriend. However, in her teens and early 20s, Chung wasn’t interested in dating Asians. “Being with a white guy felt like stepping stone to being less different, or like it would make me more like the white girls I wanted to be like.”
It wasn’t until she was in her mid-20s that the Toronto-based writer realized she wasn’t attracted to Asian men because of her insecurities. She also became more aware of how Asian men were frequently desexualized in the media and portrayed as unattractive.
“It’s not about being shallow. It’s that Asian men are so much more than the old stereotypes used to describe them—and it’s about damn time we all begin to realize this.”
Why men should be optimistic about online dating
At Shift Dating, our team of experts believes in the power of a positive attitude when you’re online dating. In addition to an optimistic outlook, it’s equally important to understand how dating app algorithms can work in your favour. A proper strategy is vital, which is where advice from our team of professionals can come in and help.
Following the best practices of your profile setup goes a long way, just like the art of perfecting the best pick-up line. Most importantly, remaining truthful on your dating profile, about your age, income, and interests will play a big part in your success.
Online dating might be more challenging for men for multiple reasons, but we’ve got your back. Reach out to our team of dating experts who can help you meet better matches in no time.
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