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The hidden reality of online dating

Here are some of the biggest surprises that novice online daters run into.

Whether you just left a bad marriage or have been in the dating world for seemingly, ever, it makes sense to feel like it’s your turn to find love.

There are plenty of hidden hurdles you need to understand, especially as the world on online dating changes almost daily.

Many think they can just click a few boxes and have the perfect candidate arrive at their mailbox in 48 hours. It’s essential to be patient and to stay positive. Here are a few things you should watch out for:


Free: Online dating success in 5 easy steps

Online dating can be frustrating and time consuming, with limited if any results. Or maybe you just don’t know where to start.

Lies and more lies.

Over half of online daters misrepresent themselves, almost entirely on their profiles.

Research focused largely on online dating profiles have found, for example, that men tend to overstate their height and lie about what they do for work. While women usually understate their weight and have less than accurate photos than their counterparts.

We shouldn’t be too surprised. Especially given there’s a greater focus on the celebrity culture and perceived success in the U.S. 

This data is supported by other research. More than half of online daters (+54%) have “seriously misrepresented” themselves in their profiles (Pew Research, Internet & American Life Project).

Men seem to fib the most. Often adding a few inches to their height. Women, on the other hand, like to “shed” a few pounds when they set up their profiles. And it doesn’t help that over 30% of Tinder users are married.

What!? You’re Married?

With the recent change in our environment, compliments of the coronavirus. There will be more marital discord.

This will drive people to their “social apps” for escape. Make sure you don’t get caught in that webby mess.

Often, the people that are already taken are missing something pivotal in their current relationship. And he or she wants to reawaken a life beyond the current confines. Regardless, this is not someone who can offer a serious, consistent relationship. 

Often these personas are using online dating as an outlet and are not planning to leave their partner anytime soon. If ever.

38% of people say financial worries lead to more stress, arguments, and feelings of isolation in their relationship.

Swipe. Try a new app. More swiping. No results.

Many are voyeurs and just “pick and click.” Some even make it a game by randomly swiping left every 1 in 50 just to see what response they get. 

The endless supply of faces combined with the modern worker’s lack of time making it hard for people to find the time and eventually commit to a date in real life. This article in the Atlantic nails it: “When market logic is applied to the pursuit of a partner and fails, people start to feel cheated.” It’s not like shopping for a vacuum on Amazon.

Our Online Dating Coaches have seen it all. Over and over, plenty of online daters coming to us after they’ve been at it for too long.

Now that they have a professional on their side, they are starting to really see and feel the results. 

The more time you spend online looking for the right match, the less likely you ever will. Eventually, the algorithms will start working against you.

Things just start to add up.

When it comes to dating, spending money on drinks, coffee or dinner may seem like a no-brainer. But, in a seemingly never-ending search to find “the one,” all those dinners and other dating costs add up, big time.

Don’t forget to account for transportation, a new outfit, and then the blow out (girls!).

Then there’s the date itself. After you’ve burned an hour on a please-make-it-stop blind date, your reality was probably a little less happily ever after. Not only was it a waste of time, but you might also be out a painful $100.

Yes, dating can be a massive money suck. If you’re not planning, things can add up fast. 

The team at Shift Dating has seen our clients end up saving a ton of money. Why?

  • They don’t need to spend all the time weeding out matches by spending time and money. We do all that work for them.
  • Oh, and remember the paid dating sites? It’s $42 a month for Match.com and ++$60 a month for eHarmony plus the over 140 questions you need to answer.
  • While you can get a discount if you sign up for several months at a time, you may also be looking at several hundred dollars a year for your online dating subscriptions.

So unnecessary when you have the Shift Dating team doing all the work for you.

Want online dating to be easier?

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Time is money too.

Oh, then there’s the time you need to dedicate to online dating. Online dating can be a huge time suck. 

Setting up multiple profiles, writing the bio just right, answering hundreds of questions, getting the best picture up, swiping, chatting throughout the day…and it may go nowhere.

Then you need to spend the time pondering whether or not your feelings are reciprocated—you get the picture. 

Online dating is riddled with hidden hurdles. A little tenacity and planning will help you ensure you avoid them.

Answering questions and looking at faces hour after hour is not how you're going to find a good match, and it's not exactly a productive use of anyone's time.

Join the growing list of happy clients who already have a head start.

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