Online Dating Doesn’t Work for Most of us. Here’s Why.
Online Dating Apps Don’t Work For Most of Us. Here’s Why.
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This is exactly what you shouldn't do if you want to succeed in online dating
"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge." - Charles Darwin. Here's your chance to get that online dating profile right.
- Angela Serednicki
- June 30, 2020
Hands up if you’ve ever spent time mindlessly swiping through a dating app. It’s a habit we’re all guilty of when we’re online dating.
Ultimately, it’s pretty easy to do so when your apps of choice offer seemingly limitless potential matches of eligible singles. But the truth is, quantity doesn’t always mean quality when it comes to finding matches on dating apps.
Although you might find many attractive people’s profiles with both the looks and personality you’re after, it doesn’t always translate to matches and dates.
Just as dating apps make it easy to meet people based on compatibility, it’s easy to spot deal-breakers and major turn-offs at lightning speed.
The Three-Second Rule
Can you relate? It takes 3 seconds for your brain to decide if you’re attracted to someone, according to the research of 10,000-speed daters conducted by UPenn. Three seconds!
It takes 3 seconds for your brain to decide if you're attracted to someone!
If you’re wondering how dating apps influence our decision making, behavioral scientist Clarissa Silver explains it best in her piece for Thrive Global:
“Technically, your brain does detect what you think is attractive in just a few seconds [actually, milliseconds]. Sounds great, right? You can find a match in milliseconds. No. That limits you to just what you *think* are ideal physical characteristics.
Here’s the next wave of data that your brain provides.
Your brain also is simultaneously processing subconscious factors that trigger emotional factors and physical characteristics, and that is what makes you decide on that person’s image.”
Women are 102% more likely to like a guy's pic if you're looking straight at the camera, compared to men who aren't looking at the camera.
Let that sink in for a minute. When your brain is “simultaneously processing subconscious factors that trigger emotional factors,” as Silver explained above, you’re making hasty and quick judgments from people’s profiles.
A lot comes into play into the few seconds you take to analyze a person’s dating profile. Just as people look for physical and emotional traits that they find attractive, they’re also on the lookout for red flags. Most often than not, a red flag means an automatic left swipe.
A man with 2 spelling errors in his online dating profile is 14% less likely to receive a positive response.
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Lousy Grammer
Chances are you might be wishing you paid more attention to your teacher in English class. Your spelling and grammar are essential in dating apps, according to research conducted by Match.com. The popular dating site surveyed over 5,000 single people in the US about what they valued most in dating profiles.
88% of women said they judged a potential partner by their grammar. The results found proper spelling and grammar rated more important than a date’s confidence or their teeth, only behind personal hygiene.
According to a study by eHarmony and Grammarly, an automated proofreading app, women find men less desirable if their profiles have poor spelling and grammar. “Compared to a man who makes zero spelling errors, a man with 2 spelling errors in his online dating profile is 14% less likely to receive a positive response from the average woman,” the research found.
Meanwhile, a woman’s spelling and grammar don’t seem to impact her chances of a positive match.
In fact, women make nearly twice as many grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors per 100 words in their dating profiles than men.
Photos that scored the lowest were pics of men or women wearing sunglasses, or the apparent use of Snapchat filters.
Sub Par Photos
We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again because it’s worth repeating. Your photos can make or break your dating profiles!
Hinge analyzed a random sampling of 1,000 Member profile photos to investigate the type of pictures that got the most likes.
Photos that scored the lowest were pics of men or women wearing sunglasses, or the apparent use of Snapchat filters.
Women are 102% more likely to like a guy’s pic if you’re looking straight at the camera, compared to men who aren’t looking at the camera.
At the same time, since so many people are obviously posing in their pictures, you’re 15% more likely to get likes on your pictures if you post candid photos. The experts at Shift Dating recommend hiring a professional photographer, so you have a good selection of candid shots. Alternatively, hire the team at Shift Dating to get your photo gallery looking its best!
Another best practice for men’s profile pics includes smiling without teeth.
By doing so, you’re 43% more likely to receive a like than men that smile and show their teeth in photos.
Maybe just don’t let your dentist know.
Women are less likely to swipe right on men posing with a cat in their dating profiles.
Your Pet Cat
Bad news for any tiger kings out there. Research by Colorado State University discovered women are less likely to swipe right on men posing with a cat in their dating profiles. “Men holding cats were viewed as less masculine; more neurotic, agreeable, and open; and less dateable,” authors of the study reported.
Although you’ve probably already had a hunch, dogs, on the other hand, are always a big hit on dating apps.
Rover.com’s survey found 72% of people are more likely to click on dating profiles with a dog in the photo. And even if someone found out that the dog didn’t belong to their match, 52% said they would still date them.
72% of people are more likely to click on dating profiles with a dog in the photo.
Don’t Rush it
Dating in the middle of a global pandemic wasn’t necessarily the type of summer fling people had in mind for 2020. However, many singles around the world are making the most of social distancing by turning to online dating apps for connection during the quarantine.
With virtual dating on the rise, it’s become a major faux pas to ask someone to meet up IRL too soon.
An article by Mashable highlighted the concerning trend of men who pressure women to meet up during recommended social distancing.
And while every area has its guidelines for reopening, disagreeing on your level of social distancing you’re comfortable with can be an automatic deal-breaker.
Sometimes it’s Not About You
Another story by Elite Daily also asked women why they swipe left on men’s profiles.
According to a source named Christina, sometimes the reason a woman is turned off by your dating profile isn’t personal. “Anyone with my brother’s or ex-boyfriend’s names is an immediate left swipe. You better be a real dime piece if your name is Chris.”
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